He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
