Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
