you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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