btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize