so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
