Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
false alarm, still single
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