Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
