this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize