I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
