Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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