who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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