She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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