How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
