note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
