I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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