She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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