So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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