my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
