when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Green mimosas i think yes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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