I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
