The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
