wrigley field is MILF paradise
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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