I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
