What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
