is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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