I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
