Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
