don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
