I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
