its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
