Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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