I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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