In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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