so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
