we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize