i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
