I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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