Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
