Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
