I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
