dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
