He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
