wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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