Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
