32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
