The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
