I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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