walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Randomize
