Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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