I smell stomach acid.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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