My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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