Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public

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(308): View more from Nebraska

i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together

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(914): View more from New York

He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.

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(303): View more from Colorado

There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.

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(510): View more from California

Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment

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(765): View more from Indiana

i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces

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