Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
