just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize