so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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