I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm having to shit out rocks
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
