I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
