I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
