Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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