I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm just crazy horny about you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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